i feel foolish
to sit here waiting,
for a text, phone call, message, wall post, SOMETHING..to say those 3 words.
and no, not i love you…i’m waiting for you to say “happy birthday alex!”. damnit. crap. fuck. i don’t know why i’m so antsy for you to tell me something. i guess it’s cus i care. do you remember me, as much as i remember you? or am i foolish to sit here waiting, in hopes of talking to you too?
:(
all the small things
it’s funny how the littlest things can have a hugeee effect on you. idk. lately i’ve been feeling really good. it’s like all my worries, obstacles, difficulties, etc…it’s like they don’t matter anymore. because i know there’s hope. there will always be hope. as long as i believe it. i don’t care if people try bursting my bubble. but at the moment, all the negativity doesn’t matter. this is a short life we live. it’s better to make the most out of it before it’s too late. i’m only young once. might as well enjoy it. no matter how much shit is thrown at me, i will say thank you. because overcoming them will make me stronger. just smile and have hope. let loose, be wild, have fun damnit! in the end, as long as you can find a balance between living your life and controlling your responsibilities in the right path, then all should be fine.
I can’t help but be sad and lonely. I don’t know. It’s just the wanting and needing to feel something. Who knows…
I’ve been alone for too long and for once I would like for something out of the ordinary to happen to me. I’ve been patient. And it’s getting harder and harder each day.
hm.
so i got put on my school’s dean’s list. and honestly i don’t feel like i deserve it. here i’ll break it down and post my classes and the grades i got in each class-
graphic design I: A- biggest bullshit class. basically keep up with all the assignments and that’s it. i did. and i got an A.
spanish for bilinguals I: A - ok this class i actually did work hard in. i didn’t like my teacher. she posted too much homework and readings (well duh it’s college). so i actually did work my butt off for this class. i kept up with all the essays, readings, homeworks, and studied for the exams (somewhat)
english 161 (equivalent to second semester of english): A- ok basically this class was all research papers. yeah i got good grades on all my papers..but my professor was one of those professors that would give everyone A’s. he seriously didn’t care about the class. we would have class for literally 5 minutes then he would let us go. so i feel like i just got lucky with this class and it was a bullshit class.
psychology 100: B- alright this one was so and so. i studied my butt off for the exams. this is another one of the “just keep up with the assignments and you’ll be fine” type of class. so i did. but it wasn’t a bullshit class though.
i don’t know…i just feel like i got lucky with the classes i took. i don’t feel like i deserve to be on the dean’s list.
pft. next semester i’m gonna be taking chem, nutrition, spanish II, and sociology. well see if i truly do deserve to be on the deans list.
i’m only sleeping
there are sooo many things running through my head. pretty much negative stuff :/ well it’s mostly just family issues. but i was so happy last night.
hotboxing in the car while listening to the beatles. it was like the words and rhythms took hold of my body and gave me a warm feeling. it was a clear dark summer night, where the wind kissed your face slightly. i blew gently the smoke outta my body, through my nose and mouth, and watched it sway up above into the night sky..out of the open sun roof. i’ve never felt so relaxed and calm in my life. the warmness i had in my body…it gave me hope that things will always be ok. it gave me reassurance to stay positive. because no matter where i go, the warmness will always be inside of me.
hello :)
hello followers (lol if anyone is even reading this)
anywho, so i have a new blog that i’ve been using for quite awhile. it’s senioritabanana.tumblr.com. pretty much the same shit lol. i didn’t want people i know in real life to follow this one, so therefore i created that one. well turns out i’m more on that one than on this one lol.
so feel free to follow that one. so yea thats why i barely come on here.
yum
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